Hello, everybody! Since my last entry, all the leaves have changed colour and fall has settled in. Halloween is coming up, too. What is everybody going as? I want to see pictures if and when you have them. Me, I put everything off until the last minute, so I don't know what I'll be yet, but I'll post pictures of my Halloween decorations if I remember to.

Another thing that happens as the seasons change is that my mother inadvertently saw a commercial announcing a "Countdown to Vancouver Winter Olympics 2010!!!", and has pretty much glued herself and, on occasion, me, to the television to witness the events of non-contact sports and root for the home team, as it were.

Let's see, what interesting things have I seen recently? They had a bunch of rhythmic gymnasts (read: hot ballet dancers with little spinny things that somehow qualifiy it as an Olympic sport) come to my birth prefecture to compete in the Ultimate World Championship Final... thing...  So that was neat.  And also congratulation to my countryman, Uchimura Kohei, for placing first by a landslide and being the All-Around Mens' Gymnastic Champion.

Needless to say, I don't really know all that much about sports programs that don't involve Lane Kiffin and/or men bashing each other in the head with steel chairs or something else equally cool, but I took in what I could.  However, when it came time for the Figure Skating portion of the pre-Olympic coverage, I was present to catch my beloved Ando Miki and Queen Yu-Na, and was reminded once again of the existence of one Mister Nobunari Oda.

That's right, he's a male figure skater from Japan, lauded on occasion as the best male figure skater ever, so I figured it would be fun if I expounded on him a bit more with interesting trivia and cute pics!

( Click here for cute pix of Nobunari! )

Hey everybody!  I meant to update sooner, but I haven't been able to due to the guilt of possibly causing the death of a person I wrote about in my last entry.  Also because of the fact that I haven't had access to a computer on which to update with.  I know, I still don't have one, but it is looking like I will be getting one soon, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed.  I'll admit that, being unable to talk to everybody as much as I'd like (and for that I am sorry) and to let out my frustrations in livejournal form, I've gone slightly mad from it all.  And that would bring us to our entry for the day, where I have decided, instead of going on as planned with what I wanted to write about, I'd take a slightly different approach than usual, like back in the Shark Steam Mop review, and just take some time to complain about something I saw that annoyed me.  

Yeah, I'm aware that I kind of always do that, but you'll realise that it's a bit more personal, this time.  I'll start off by apologizing to pretty much everyone I'm about to offend, especially those who identify with these types of people, or the people themselves if they happen to find and read this.  But what the hell, I don't know any of them that well, and maybe they'll thank me for bringing the issues to their attention.  So without further ado, I'd like to present to the world...

Life Lessons That I Have Learned From Whole Foods

( Another SOYJOY Bar, Anyone? )

Well, I hope everyone has had a good day.  Do you know what day it is?  Of course, it's the 4th of July, the day that something good happened and America celebrates its independence!  It's also the day that John Cena marks on his calendar with a glittery sticker of the American flag, the day that I make sure to listen to this, the day my mother stocks up on pyrotechnics like she has some dark ulterior motive, and the day that my friends and I try to emulate Kobayashi Takeru but really just emulate some guy who eats too many hot dogs and becomes ill.

What all did you do?  Did you have a lot of pie?  Did you see fireworks?  Did you vow to never talk to your family again?

I don't know too much about what the 4th of July is about, but I do know that everybody pretty much does what they feel like, tries to have a good time, and WWE sends me full-size posters of Kelly Kelly and Mickie James topless at a barbeque.  One thing I do know, however, is that it is a celebration of America, and what better way can I possibly celebrate by sharing with all of you a review of one of the worst movies that I've ever seen.

One of the worst movies... from America!

I happened across this movie because I like to stay up and watch TV late into the night.  So, apparently, do the haggard mothers of small children who wake up crying, and stoners who will laugh at just about anything.  Therefore, I am apt to see on any given day, some of the most confusing, mind-blowing crap that you probably couldn't even imagine. 

This film happens to be a horror film.  A horror film from America in the early 1980's.  Yes, I do realise that expecting anything other than excessive nudity and lots of blood and absolutely no plot is pretty much par for the course.  But this movie is different.  How is it different?  Well, there is next to no nudity, a Burger King ketchup packet's worth of blood throughout the duration of the film, and so many plot twists and subplots shoved into about an hour and a half, that it could have spawned more sequels than Friday the 13th based solely on the stories they were trying to work in this movie alone.

So on that note, I invite you to join me on my foray through the dark forests and synchronized swimming excursions that make up the home of the...

Madman!

( Lost in the woods, with the Madman and the stars... )

This just in:  As I wondered what the hell happened to the people in this terrible film, and why we never saw the guy who played the lead, "T.P." again, I have just recieved information that he died.  The day I posted this.  He really died while I was writing about him in this movie.  Whoops.  So, while we never saw him in anything else, he is the main reason I've written this, because of that iconic love scene up there.  Rest in peace, T.P., you're a winner to us.

Well finally, I  have made myself a new layout.  Please see it here if you like.  It's not the greatest, but I never claim to be the greatest at anything I do, so it all works out.  I definitely needed a new style, and I'm very pleased with it, since I know absolutely nothing about coding and colour-matching.  I tried very hard, so it's really my own shortcomings that attest to the finished product, but I think that makes it charming, right?  Hopefully.

Anyway, I hope to have a new computer as soon as possible, so that I can continue with my Kagrra, review, and also share with you the greatest movie ever, as well as a few things about Jrock that you hopefully didn't know before.  So please look forward to that!  

But for now, I will turn to my favourite reviewing subject:  Samurai things!

I realise that this entry will probably seem tedious to many, but it's really something I'm very passionate about, and one of the most interesting things I could think of that I wished to write about that would still be somewhat easy to follow when my joy of sharing information took over.  So if you do decide to read it, I hope you will find it as fascinating as I do, or perhaps it's my fascination that is fascinating, but regardless, enjoy the awesome photos.  

( Can You Spare A Mon? )

Awwww, yeah.  Raiho knows what's up.

So yeah, I'm really excited, now I have a new way to accomplish my extended hours of doing absolutely nothing besides obsessing over collecting fish and/or swords and/or demons.

Speaking of demons, I meant to update sooner, but my ongoing Kagrra, coverage will have to wait once more.  But for the entry after this one, I am going to do a more traditional entry, so if you don't really care to learn about the intracacies of awesome samurai history, you can skip over and wait for the next one.  I also have another one planned more like the demon lore I did on Lantern Festival day, but focusing more on Kagrra,, so look forward to that as well!  

Hmm, I'm just throwing this out here, but I think I want to change my journal layout.  Does anybody know anybody good?  I'd be much appreciative.

So!  On to my little gallery of fun.  The reason I was unable to update was because my family went to the beach!  I caught several fish and a lot of crabs as well, and spotted a jellyfish the size of a basketball, two squids eating fish, a see urchin and a hermit crab with a pair of anemones living inside its shell as well.  It was really fun!  I also took a trip to the aquarium, because when I go somewhere and there are buildings full of learning activities, I feel drawn to it and have to go.  I took a lot of pictures, but I'll just share my favourite ones with you.  Please enjoy the photos from the aquarium!

( A Goldfish In An Aquarium )

Well, I had a good time on my vacation.  I hope you liked the pictures!  See you soon.

I'm not dead.  But my computer is.  So after writing my favourite entry to date, my computer decided that the sheer mass of traditional photographs I'd compiled was just too much to handle, and killed itself in the most scarring way imaginable.  Really, it had been on its last legs for two years, overridden with viruses and problems and shit I didn't need clogging up its system, but then when I happily signed in to check on my responses and expound more long-winded traditional crap, little things began to pop up and then it alerted me that a rogue program had been installed on my computer.  I tried everything I could to purge the damn thing from my suffocating piece of shit computer that never did anything nice for me, but then finally, the program embedded itself into the OS and ripped the entire thing apart from the core.  I am aware there are other things I could do, but the entire screen was already broken on the left side, so at this point, I'm just saving for a sweet new one that I will be kind to that I will order in the next few months.  But fear not!  My friends have been kind enough to let me steal their computers at random intervals, and I will update as often as possible, so I won't have months of inactivity again for a while.  I don't do well with my thoughts alone in my head with no outlet.

Now that that's out of the way, let me get on with the most important thing:

!  MY BIRTHDAY  !

Thanks to all of you for the kind birthday wishes, really.  It was great to see them, even if I was late on replying, it meant a lot!  I remember now when I updated after my birthday last year, it seems like so long ago.  Reading the entry, I'm kind of embarrassed, it doesn't even seem like me.  I guess I am a very different person now in the year that has passed.  My interests have changed radically, and yet some have remained just the same.  It's very bizarre to me, I guess this whole journal is like a time capsule of shame.  I can't believe I've had it over a year.  

So, what did I do?  It was the best birthday ever!  I got many gifts from my friends and family, some video games I have become completely addicted to, staring at the screen of my DS until the image is burned into my mind and all of my dreams are now displayed to me in a dual screen manner.  Also... 

Well, my friends got me a complete box set of the worst movies imaginable.  You know what that means.  I can't begin to describe them now, my hands begin to tremble with excitement and fear.  I've already watched one.  One of ten.  It's probably worse than any movie I have reviewed so far.  I probably won't go into all ten, but then, if the quality becomes shoddier than the first piece of shit (which inevitably it will), and you all enjoy it, perhaps I shall.  Please look forward to the next series of reviews wrought from an innocent gift of bad cinema for my birthday.

I don't know, when is everyone's birthday?  What is the worst git you've ever recieved?  I wouldn't consider the movies my worst gift, they're actually quite endearing in their own horrible way.  I don't know my worst gift, I'm just so thrilled to have something new I probably wouldn't notice and have talked about it in length about how much I enjoy it while you all skim the page and wonder what the fuck I'm on.  I wonder, too.  But I really do like these terrible things.

Anyway, so then, after recieving my gifts, I was treated to my favourite meal (Taco Bell home-made taco dinner, hard and soft shell version with all the fixins), and played the crap out of my new games, neglecting everyone and everything that was not talking to me via DS.  Ah...  

I think that's all I really have to catch up on.  Yeah, I don't do much.  Oh!  On the fifth, I got Wrestlemania!  Yeah, so much shit has been going down in wrestling, you guys don't even know.  I know, hm, all of you don't really care about wrestling and are confused and concerned at my fandom of it, but you can just ignore the entry if I decide to share all of my pictures and experiences of that fateful day.  Or maybe you will decide that you are interested and enjoy wrestling, too!  I know that that will never happen.  But that's all for me for today.

See you soon...

Well, after the blatant affront to Japanese culture that was my last entry, I've decided to go in the other direction and write about the most cultural thing I can think of:

Kagrra,.

Well, sort of.

I guess it's no secret that Kagrra, is my favourite band.  (Their new album, Shu, comes out April 1!  =D)  But it is often a very hard decision for me to select just what must be my favourite band and my favourite song and my favourite PV.  I see/listen/watch the music I like during most of my day, and new artists and singles and things are being added to the mix by the second.  So for me, it is a difficult decision, which I base on the culmination of absolutely everything I am exposed to within the band and their work.  I'm rambling... what I mean to say is that, with the style of music, clothing, the message, the imagery, and the dedication of the band, Kagrra, is the band I would have to choose for pretty much every "What is your favourite" question. 

This post is also due in part to a request by kashmir_ki_kali.  As she, and you, probably, very well know, I enjoy learning and studying all types of cultural things from all over the world, running the gamut from history, religion, customs, culture, people, tribes, art, etc.  It goes on and on.  Naturally, a lot of my interest comes from what I myself have been exposed to by way of my own childhood, education, and thoughts impressed upon me by my mother.  I like to research, write, and share with anyone who will listen my thoughts and views and (limited) knowledge on the things around me and the things I am interested in.  But if we're being honest here, yeah, I guess a lot of it comes from video games.  If you asked me to explain as much as I could about the Three Kingdoms Era of China, about 99.9% of it would be from Dynasty Warriors, probably including quotes from the characters and my own halting descriptions of the awesome awesome (inaccurate) costumes that they wear.

So, when she requested that I make a review of some Kagrra, videos and the subtle cultural and at times religious imagery that they use, I guess I jumped at the chance.  Reading back on this post so far, I guess I jumped and fell pretty hard, but the sentiment remains the same that I am now going to start a series (spread out over the course of when I feel like it, so as not to become monotonous and boring, or at least to give me an extra entry when my brain stops working and I go months without updating) of reviewing various aspects of Kagrra, and some information that the casual fan (or even someone who is not yet a fan) may not know.  Or at least, to be interesting and expand my repertoire of rock music reviews beyond "xxx can't sing, and the songs are overused pieces of shit, so why is this band so popular?",  "xxx sucks now that Bou is gone", or "xxx is wearing a big ugly hat".

So, now that I've been given my mission, obviously I set out right away to procrastinate and not do it. 

I decided to start my series of reiews with the ultimate Kagrra, song:  Kotodama.  Not only was it essentially Kagrra,'s very first song, but it was also the very first PV of theirs I ever saw.  It made me a fan, which I will get into later, but first and foremost, it is, to me, the epitome of what Kagrra, represents, and remnants of the message the song gives can be found in every subsequent song or PV if you think about it.  So I began to watch it with hopes of reviewing it, and realised that I had my work cut out for me:  so much was happening in the PV, so many subtleties and interesting little tidbits I wanted to mention, so many things going on at once, it was as if the very story of the kagura itself was being relayed, and then the arc of Yamato crashed down upon its head, and the whole thing wrought forth some kind of impromptu festival.  I'm not kidding, if you try to watch it with a mind to take notes and absorb the happenings, the whole thing becomes a blurred mess of tradition and horror.

Which I guess is a good way to describe Kagrra,, huh?

So anyway, please stay tuned to the next post, in which I will explain the history of Kagrra,/kagura and the meaning of the song/PV, as well as interesting facts about rock music, Shinto, and Japanese folktales/horror, for in this post, we need to get all of our peripherals clear so that we may view the PV with a focused eye.

So now, I shall relay the tale of how I was first exposed to Kagrra,, the intricacies of art, and just why Kagrra, is allowed to have their very own genre of music.

( Untangling a Red String )

Please look forward to the next Kagrra, post, in which I will further dissect the actual song and video itself, with thoughts of these stories and pictures to be kept in mind.  Also, if you have any questions about Kagrra,, or a request for a specific PV/live/photo/outfit/song/whatever for me to review or explain after or in between different examinations of Kotodama, please feel free to request it, and I will be happy to go into it in a later entry, or answer any questions to the very best of my (limited) knowledge.

Thank you for reading, I hope it was enjoyable, or at least educational and interesting, or probably just educational and an organization excersize for me.  Until next time!

I meant to update sooner, but you have no idea how hard it was to get this video to be able to take pictures of it.  I enlisted four people aside from myself, and finally we have, in our collective efforts, managed to pass the wonderment on to you. 

This review is of a porn clip.

Calm down.

I usually try not to talk about anything straight-out graphic.  A lot of the movies I watch, being made for American audiences and having virutally no clothing budget anyway, will naturally feature a lot of young Japanese women of varying levels of attractiveness, on occasion getting naked and doing something sexual or disgusting or a delightful mixture of the two.  But the main focus of my rants are usually around the plot and shoddy effects. 

I know a lot of you probably don't want to look at porn, and trust me, I don't want to look at this sort of thing either, but I will for your sake, and make sure I don't include any outright graphic photographs.  This is going to be more hilariously bizarre than erotic, despite the makers certainly believing it to be the latter. 

So please, keep in mind that I would never try to lead you astray with any sort of thing that wasn't completely and totally entertaining to me.  In a non-sexual way.  I implore you to read it, because I, in my wish to share and laugh with you all, have been forced not only to watch the entire thing repeatedly, but screencapture it, and edit the photos to make them more appropriate for you all to view.  I am emotionally and physically numb and am currently in a dull state of panic that I will never be able to comfortably look at another human being again.  I feel pretty secure in telling you all that this is the worst, and possibly most racist and wrong thing ever.

It's a porn about a "geisha".  Is it, however, more accurate to the life of the geisha than Memoirs of a Geisha?  Let's find out.

( WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG )

Hello, everybody.  As you may or may not know, the Chinese Lantern Festival (Koshōgatsu), is a celebration that takes place just after the Chinese New Year, bringing those festivities to a close.  It also happens to be tomorrow.  The festival involves, oddly enough, lanterns, and the carrying of them to shrines.  The style and size of the lantern you carry will naturally vary, many people just before this time of year will take to making and setting out eye-catching lanterns.  I have seen a very old gentleman who had, in his youth, learned to make lanterns, and a few weeks before every Lantern Festival, he would set his work aside and dedicate himself to fashioning many lanterns in the shape of animals and hang them outside his home, showing the trade to children and more often than not, having the majority of them bought up in preparation for the festivities.  I know it all sounds like the plot to some trite and very precious childen's movie about growing up and respecting your elders, but guys like this really do exist and are just cool.

So when you have your lantern, you and your family will set out, and head to any and all shrines within walking distance that catch your fancy.  Depending on your location, there may be many stands set up with snacks to buy and games to play, and many lanterns will have little puzzles on them to be solved.  It's all very traditional and really exciting.  The evening will end with a bonfire at your shrine, lit between a torii and symbolizing the destruction of all bad luck.  More often than not, you will also partake in some superstitious activity to rid yourself of bad luck and bring good luck in the New Year.



The point of this festival is to bring families together to face the New Year, and to connect with them as well as with nature and religion, and to generally have a good time and fill the next year of your life with "light".  Aha! 

This practice is celebrated the world over, really, and the activities will vary, but the general mood and actions are the same.  You have your family, you have your lantern, you eat some snacks, you have fun.  In America, I know that there are superstitions to eat black eyed peas and spinich on New Year, though I'm not entirely sure why.  I think the spinich is supposed to represent money, and wealth to come in the next year.  Can anybody fill me in?  Anyway, since the Lantern Festival isn't exactly a national holiday here in America, and there isn't a Shinto shrine within walking distance of where I live, my Lantern Festival will be considerably less interesting. 

I still have this cake left over from New Year, my family will eat that.



And since it also is a full moon, of course, my mother has decided that we will have a traditional moon-viewing festival, which is basically an excuse to drink good sake and dress in wafuku.  Despite doing this every day, and the actual festival being held in August, each month when she gets bored, my mother declares it moon-viewing day, and when it's a full moon we drink and tell ghost stories.  Even though this entry is making me sound like a stock character from xxxHOLiC, I will press onward and share with you all some more interesting facts about, what else, lanterns.

( Dance at the Capital )

So, thank you for reading it!  I've probably made very little sense, so please tell me if you don't understand something.  And if you'd like a bit of a lighter read, please check out the rant I've done with juiceshop in the jrock_rant community.  It is about the worst rock band names of recent times.  See you soon!

( In Memorium )

So, how was everyone's New Year?  It's February, now, I've missed out on a lot.  Besides that, I haven't really been up to much, just re-playing a video game, and a few other things that I will tell everybody about if all goes well.  I wanted to write this little thing for a while now, so please enjoy something completely different.  Or possibly something exactly the same as everything else I write.

( Infomercial Review: Shark Steam Mop )